The ADHD lightbulb moment

This is my story in a nutshell.

How I discovered I am not defective; I am simply wired differently.

How I realised ADHD runs in our family and that this knowledge empowers us to create a new reality for ourselves.

I grew up in an abusive environment where awful shit happened. It created trauma and struggle. Being a kid was tough, and learning how to adult wasn't easy either.

I dropped out of school in my final year and started doing administrative office work.

I experienced major burnout in my mid-twenties. To the extent that I couldn't work at all for a couple of months. A work event triggered it, but the prevailing theory was that I had an intrinsic vulnerability from childhood trauma and had hit a tipping point.

I saw a GP and a psychologist for over a year to recover and try to rebuild my sense of self. My emotional sensitivity and impulsivity heightened, and a psychiatrist diagnosed mild bipolar disorder. I began taking lithium in addition to the antidepressant I was already on.

ADHD is often confused with and misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder due to overlapping symptoms like impulsivity, high energy, irritability, and racing thoughts

Looking back, I realise they misdiagnosed me. After I was stable and felt more in control, I talked to my doctor about the medication. She had always been skeptical about the diagnosis and was supportive of stopping. I weaned off both medications with no issues and have never taken them again. I have not since had any "manic" episodes.

I learned a lot about myself during this time and how to navigate life as an adult. I discovered many healthy ways to live a functional and productive life.

I also learned to better hide or rebrand the parts of me that seemed unacceptable: emotion, sensitivity, over sharing, poor memory, procrastination, distress with unclear expectations, working in bursts of energy followed by being useless for a time, needing movement, having too much exuberance, impulsivity, daydreaming.

I got good at presenting the right image, but didn't perceive how much effort I was expending. I blamed the childhood trauma and committed to self-development so I could become a better person and overcome my struggles, but I always felt like an imposter.

I got married; I had two children.

I went to university as a mature-aged student and completed an undergraduate degree with honours and a master's degree. It wasn't easy. Studying part-time while managing work and family helped me manage perfectionism and procrastination because of the unrelenting deadlines.

It was exhausting; I remember little of that time.

Fast forward. My youngest is in his early 20s. He talks about ADHD. At first, I don't understand. I'm a victim of stereotypes and I'm concerned about him labelling himself in this way. But I want to be understanding and supportive. I try to educate myself. I offer financial support for the assessment.

ADHD is highly genetic and inherited, with studies showing a 70% to 80% heritability rate. It is a neurodevelopmental disorder often passed down within families.

The lightbulb moment came when I saw it was likely that my son had inherited ADHD. I had flashbacks where things made sense looking through an ADHD lens.

I called my son, thinking, you'll never believe it, "I think I have ADHD. "

"Yeah," he said casually, "we are an ADHD family."

Mind blown.

This is when my journey started. This is my space to share our experiences as we figure this out.

There's a lot more to tell.